For many years now I’ve wondered when my blog would end. Well, I’ve decided, today’s the day…
The last few entries have been about my tough times, my misery, and my despair. However, life is about more than metastatic breast cancer. I’m tired of moping about the house waiting for my own demise. I’m sick of complaining about my bruises and steroid puff. My disease is what it is; nobody can do anything about it.
But that’s not my whole story. Yes, this particular blog is about cancer- but the history of a life can’t be summed up by one word. If my experience with this disease has taught me anything, it is the knowledge that my life may end soon, or it might be prolonged. The most important truth about death is that no one really knows when the end is coming.
That leads me to the title of the blog… Being diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer at thirty-one, is extremely unlucky. All that I’ve been through: the chemo, the brain radiation, the various pills, is unlucky. The hair loss, the mastectomy, the debilitating dizziness: all of that is unlucky. In fact, if you look back at these blog entries, my thirties have been consumed with moments of extreme sadness.
However, I have also been incredibly lucky during my lifetime. I have a husband who loves me, a loyal sister, caring parents, and amazing friends and family. When I close my eyes, my heart fills with memories of good times, not bad. A huge thank you goes to everyone who played a role in my happiness. I want to finish with the poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson that inspired this blog in the first place:
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by
a healthy child, a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.
Signing off (for now),